Surround yourself with people, not friends
21 Dec 2019
As life goes on, and you move around, your friends' lives and yours split apart. You see them once a year at most, and even though you're happy to see ye old buddies, are you still friends for real?
If you're not living the sedentary life, you don't have a choice, you need to make new friends. This is something not just me, but millions of people have to do every year. Some by choice, some because they have to.
I have this problem by choice.
I moved from Paris to Lyon when I was 7. That was tough, I lost all my friends, which at this age was my world.
After that, for some reason, I couldn't stay in one place. When I was 15, all my middle school classmates and friends went to the high school next door, I went to another one. It was a huge mistake, rich people would partake in their rallyes dansant and I couldn't fit in.
I moved to China when I was 19. To leave a life that I could not live anymore. I came back a year after, and I got depressed. At 21, I moved to Canada, hopping to find a better life again. At 23, I moved to Bordeaux. At 25, I was heading to Chicago, a year and half later to London, and a year and half later to San Francisco where I am now.
I am tired to move around, but somewhere, deep down, I want to leave again. I'm not sure why. And I'm not sure what it would achieve.
Now when I travel the world, wherever I go, I meet familiar faces. Nonetheless, I have lost my friends time and time again. It is sad, and like many others I long to find new friends, but it is not easy.
But what I realized these days, is that one should not look for friends.
A friend is what you get after having spent a lot of time with someone. It is not a magical thing.
Instead, you should strive to surround yourself with people, with people you like. After all, we have the luxury of cutting ties with those who badly influence our lives.
Surrounding yourself with people makes you complete, and with time some of them will become your friends.